Phoenix
by klm2674
Summary: Her gaze went to the boy on the porch. Only he wasn't a boy anymore. In the 7 years that she had gone he had turned into a man. She wasn't sure if she'd have recognized him had she met him somewhere else. But that was a lie. She'd recognize him anywhere.


**I own nothing. SM owns it all.**

PHOENIX

"What are you doing here?" he asked standing on the porch.

"I don't know." she whispered. She looked up at his face not sure if he had heard her or not. Fear was in her eyes. She wasn't quite sure what she feared. It could be the past or just rejection.

If she was honest with herself she didn't even quite know how she had gotten there. She had just got in her car that morning and started driving.

That was unusual to begin with. She usually didn't take her car anywhere in Phoenix. She liked walking better. It was a sign right there that something was off. She just hadn't listened to the signs. Or maybe she just didn't want to. Maybe this was where she was supposed to be.

A sigh escaped her lips as she took in her surroundings. The small house with the yellow shutters looked just as inviting as it always had. She could see the lights turned in parts of the house and briefly wondered if anything had changed in the time that she was gone.

The gravel driveway was lined by a cherry tree and a weeping willow. She loved the weeping willow. She had ever since she was a little girl. He knew that. It was the reason he bought the house in the first place.

Her gaze went to the boy on the porch. Only he wasn't a boy anymore. In the 7 years that she had been gone he had turned into a man. She wasn't sure if she would have recognized him had she met him anywhere else.

But that was a lie. She would have recognized him anywhere with that bronze hair and those green eyes. The eyes that showed annoyance now.

"I'm sorry for coming." she said as she turned back to her car. Walking slowly she felt defeated. She had not known what she expected to happen when she came here. She tried to tell herself that she didn't have any expectations and therefore shouldn't be disappointed. But that was another lie. Of course she had hoped for the best and actually let herself believe for a tiny portion of the drive that she could make things right again tonight. How she wished she would have never given in to those thoughts. They were utterly absurd and she realized that now.

With tears in her eyes she took one last look at the house and then reached for the door handle on the car. She knew it was the last time that she would ever come back here. After today she would never come back. She would try her hardest to forget about the boy that starred in her dreams every night. She would try to move on with her life.

"Bella, wait." He called. He took a step towards her hesitating for a moment. His voice was shaky when he continued to speak. "You should stay here for the night. It's not safe to drive in the dark. You can use the guest bedroom."

She spun around in disbelief. "Are you sure? I could go and get a hotel room."

"Nonsense." he shook his head. "I think we can manage one night without killing each other." He smiled at her. That crooked smirk that would make her heart melt every time she saw it.

"I guess." she said returning his smile.

"Well, come on in, I guess." He said holding the door open for her. She took her purse out of the car and quickly walked towards the house. Her heart was beating frantically in her chest. She could practically feel her every single fiber of her being tingle in anticipation to spending the night under a roof with him.

Quietly she stepped inside clutching to her purse for dear life. She looked around the house that they had once shared.

"I didn't change anything." He said. She blushed feeling like she had been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing.

"I forgot how nice this place was." she said quietly. "I can't believe I haven't been here in 7 years." She laughed lightly then stopped when she saw the look of hurt in his eyes.

"Sorry." She whispered putting her hand on his arm. He looked down at her hand and seemed in deep thought for a few seconds before shrugging her hand off. She couldn't help but feel rejected again.

" The guest room is this way." He said leading her up the stairs. She followed him quickly though keeping her distance now. He opened the first door on the right. And lead her in the room. She recognized the room. It was still a light blue and bookshelves still lined the walls. But when she had left she had left them empty taking most of her books with her. Now they were filled.

She let her fingers run over the backsides of the books. Skimming over the titles she froze when she came to a book. With shaky hands she pulled it out and turned it in her hands for a few times.

"What's this?" She asked holding it up to him.

"Wuthering Heights." He said with a shrug. "You of all people should know that."

"Of course I know what it is." She said angrily letting her temper get the best of her. "I wanted to know what it was doing here." She looked up at him with a scowl on her face. Then she shook her head. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business." She added softly. "It's just that you hate Wuthering Heights."

"I know." His voice was becoming very quiet now and she had to really focus on him so she wouldn't miss anything. "But you love it." He looked at her. She held his gaze until the sadness of his eyes got too much for her. She averted her head and looked out of the window.

"I should go now. And you should get some rest." He walked back to the door. "For your trip home tomorrow." He walked out of the room and started pulling the door closed behind him.

"Good night Bella."

"Good night Edward." She whispered back. And then without thinking more words started rushing out of her mouth.

"I still love you." She blurted out. She could feel her face heating up as she blushed. She couldn't believe that she had just admitted that to him let alone herself.

"I still love you too." He told her quietly. "But sometimes love just isn't enough." It felt like someone had punched her when he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Sleep didn't come easy that night. She spent most of it tossing and turning. After a while she gave up. She looked at her cellphone and discovered that it was 4:27 am. How long had she been there? She had no idea. Everything that happened yesterday seemed to be in a blur. Except for the conversation she had had with him. That part of the day seemed to be carved into her mind. She quietly got out of bed and pulled her jeans on and slipped into her sneakers. She pulled her hair into a messy pony tail.

As carefully as she could she opened the door willing it not to creak and wake up Edward. She snook down the stairs her purse hanging loosely over her shoulder.

"Leaving without saying goodbye again?" She heard his velvet voice coming from her left. Her eyes followed the sound and she saw him sitting at the kitchen table. A plate of eggs and bacon was in front of him, toast with jam on a plate to his left, a glass of orange juice to his right.

Her shoulders hung low. She knew she had been caught. She knew there was no way to make up for what she had planned to do to him yet again.

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged his shoulders and got off of his chair. He walked to the cupboard and took out a plate and a glass. "Join me for breakfast?" He asked looking over his shoulder. She just nodded silently. All words seemed to be caught in her throat.

"Come sit." He said waving to the seat beside him. She carefully walked into the kitchen. Her nerves seemed to get the best of her and she tripped over her own feet. But before her body smashed into the floor two strong arms captured her securely around her waist. He pulled her upright again and held her close. Her face was buried in his chest as she tried to hide the blush that she could feel forming on her face now.

"Still as clumsy as you used to be." He said with a chuckle into her hair. She couldn't help but smile at the sound of his laughter. How she had longed to hear it again.

She lifted her face and her eyes met his. They looked green, and deep and serious. But she could see a hint of love in them. When his fingers brushed against her cheek to tuck some stray hairs behind her left ear she could feel an electric current running through her where he had touched her. It made her blush yet again.

"I still love you too." The words he had said the night before ran through her mind again. He still loved her.

She took one of her hands that had been lying on his shoulders and gently ran it through his hair. Her eyes held his and she was a little afraid to see his reaction to her touch. But when he closed his eyes and moved into her touch she pulled him closer and crashed her lips onto his.

Before she knew what was happening she was kissing him with all she had. All the feelings that she had bottled up over the past 7 years came out in that kiss. And for a little while she was pretending that everything was the way it used to be. The way it was before she left. Her lips moved against his, her body was welded to him. She fit into him perfectly.

And then as quickly as she had initiated the kiss he ended it. Gently he pulled her hands off of him and put them on her sides.

"I can't do this Bella." He said in a low voice.

Tears started to well up in her eyes. She looked right past him afraid to meet his gaze, afraid to see the rejection in his eyes.

"Sit." He said pushing her into the chair. "I'll get you some food." He took the plate to the stove.

For the first time that morning she let her eyes wander through his kitchen. She hadn't noticed the booster seat against the wall on the other side of the table before. Now that she got a closer look everything in the kitchen screamed that there was a family living here. There was a little toy box beside the window seat. Animal magnets were stuck to the fridge. How could she have missed that before? He had moved on. He had a family of his own now. And that family did not include her. She could feel the tears falling now. She shook her head and wiped them away.

Could she really expect him to wait for her for 7 years? When she left without even a goodbye? When she hadn't contacted him at all during that time?

No, she said to herself. She couldn't.

"You're married? You have a kid?" She asked. Her voice was shaking so much that she barely got the words out. She wasn't sure if he could even make them out.

"What if I am?" He asked leaning against the counter. She didn't turn around to look at him. She put her head on the table letting her hair fall over her face.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have come." She said. "I should have known that I was too late. I'm sorry."

She picked her head up and wiped the tears off her face. Without looking at him she walked out of the kitchen towards the door.

"I'll leave now. I won't bother you again. I'm sorry." She mumbled while looking for her car keys.

"She is a lucky woman." She said turning back to him one last time. She was granting herself one last look at the man in the kitchen. One last look before she would say goodbye to the love of her life forever. It took all she had to give him one last smile.

"Goodbye Edward." She turned away from him towards the door.

"I'm not married. The toys are for Alice's kid."

"I'm not married." He was at her side in a few long strides. He pulled her close to him and rested his chin on her hair.

"I'm not married." The words kept echoing through her head as she clung to him. She wasn't sure if she had heard him correctly or not but for now having his arms around her was enough. More than she could ask for actually. She inhaled deeply taking in all of his heavenly scent. He still smelled the same.

"I still love you." She mumbled into his chest. "I'm sorry for leaving the way I did. You didn't deserve that. But I never stopped loving you. There never was another guy. It's always been you." She looked up at him timidly. His eyes bore into hers. It seemed as if he could see right into her soul.

"I can understand if I'm too late. I'll deal with that. You owe me nothing. I'm really sorry for the mess I created. I'm really sorry for taking so long to figure out what I wanted. I'm sorry for not marrying you. I'm sorry for everything. I'm just so sorry." She took a deep breath and then bit her bottom lip nervously.

He didn't say anything. He just buried his face into her hair and squeezed her body to his. After a while she could feel his body shaking lightly. She ran her hands over his back trying her best to comfort him. She didn't want him to cry. She couldn't stand the thought that she was hurting him yet again. She could feel her own eyes getting wet again.

They stood there silently crying and holding each other. She had never felt as bad and as happy at the same time in her life before.

"I missed you." he finally whispered in her hair. "I've missed you so much."


End file.
